Everything changes, everything stays the same.

I just want to thank TLC for coming up with a reality show that makes you either want to slit your wrists or be thankful your life isn't half as shitty...."Addicted"....ugh.  Its hard to see people in such emotional pain that they can't realize what they are doing to themselves...watching a woman get blind drunk, trick her grandpa into loaning her 20 bucks so she can shoot heroin...all the while knowing that not one of the things she is doing is going to "fix" whatever is wrong... I may not have messed with the big stuff but I know what that feeling is like... I think to a degree we all self medicate...giving up everything really only left me with my oldest vice- food...and how do you walk away from that addiction?! ha...I started the year pretty gung ho on the healthy straight and narrow...but have since slid into a sort of self depreciating spiral...I need to get back on it...a lot is riding on me becoming healthy...for myself, my family, most importantly my son...I just need to be ok with the fact that I will screw up...this will be a long process...there is no miracle cure...and I am stronger than I think.

GRRRRR get mad woman (I say to myself) no one is going to hold my hand...I just need to do it...so Nike of me.

I will say that the beauty of not drinking very much at all means that when I indulge and have a frothy glass of Guinness it makes me feel quite nice.  Happy belated St. Pats <3

i love my little goober.

I LOVE YOU

I remember seeing the commercial for this product a while back and instantly called bullshit! They depict a woman who is craving a snack, a chocolatey snack, and they show her reach in to the cupboard for this cereal.  I am a choco-holic, nah, I am a food-aholic and at the time that I saw this commercial I couldn't believe they were trying to pitch to the public that this cereal is as good as a slice of of gooey chocolate cake, or a tub of chocolate ice cream.

I am here to say that I am a convert!  This cereal is so yummy, and this combined with chocolate soy milk brings the snack to a beautiful 190 calories.  Not to mention all the vitamins and goodness you get from eating antioxidant chocolate, and good grains, and in my case, a serving of soy milk.

So get out there and buy your special K....whether it be berry-ful, or chocolately delicious....you will not be disappointed!

New year- new blog?

When I first started this blog, I figured it would mostly be a spot for me to post pictures of my family and post all the great recipes my husband and I make...things changed after a photo shoot with a good friend of ours.

Its not like I don't have a mirror.  Or I'm not self-aware.  I just...let things slip...two years couch surfing while being pregnant, and then an angsty new mom really takes a toll.  Especially when I ate what I wanted to eat and didn't care much about the rest.  After seeing these pictures, and believe me there are worse ones...I decided to put my foot down. (again for the millionth time) I WILL BE HEALTHY.  If not for me, for my son and my husband.

Here we are 11 days into the new year and the house is free of crappy fatty junky foods, exercise is my new best friend, and calorie counting is something I enjoy.  Its all a game.  One that I can master. This site is helping so much!

I have given up smoking (2 yrs in July), drinking (minus a glass of wine once or twice a month), soda...and I feel much better, and do not feel like I am missing out.  I can't imagine what I will feel like once the weight is off of me.  I know for sure sleep will be glorious.  Prior to my pregnancy I had lost a bunch of weight and for the first time in a very long time, I knew what it felt like to sleep and not feel crushed by my own body.  So sleep...I look forward to you.  Cute dresses...will be mine!

So now this blog will be a place for me to vent my frustrations about the weight loss journey.  My successes and failures.  Adventures taken with the family, pictures of my son of course :) and killer HEALTH(ier) recipes.  Sweet XD