I just want to thank TLC for coming up with a reality show that makes you either want to slit your wrists or be thankful your life isn't half as shitty...."Addicted"....ugh. Its hard to see people in such emotional pain that they can't realize what they are doing to themselves...watching a woman get blind drunk, trick her grandpa into loaning her 20 bucks so she can shoot heroin...all the while knowing that not one of the things she is doing is going to "fix" whatever is wrong... I may not have messed with the big stuff but I know what that feeling is like... I think to a degree we all self medicate...giving up everything really only left me with my oldest vice- food...and how do you walk away from that addiction?! ha...I started the year pretty gung ho on the healthy straight and narrow...but have since slid into a sort of self depreciating spiral...I need to get back on it...a lot is riding on me becoming healthy...for myself, my family, most importantly my son...I just need to be ok with the fact that I will screw up...this will be a long process...there is no miracle cure...and I am stronger than I think.
GRRRRR get mad woman (I say to myself) no one is going to hold my hand...I just need to do it...so Nike of me.
I will say that the beauty of not drinking very much at all means that when I indulge and have a frothy glass of Guinness it makes me feel quite nice. Happy belated St. Pats <3
i love my little goober.
